like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
