I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My penis needs a shock collar
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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