idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
