The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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