Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
