I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
