My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
