I just gift wrapped bread.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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