Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
