I don't think brook has ever known best
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
