Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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