she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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