sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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