she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
