I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
