my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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