There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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