I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm sobbing to NWA
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
