Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
