Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
