I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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