could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
