an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
