I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
