we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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