Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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