I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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