you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
