obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
