he shaved USA in his pubs
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
