He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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