just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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