i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
