The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
