Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
