The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bring me that man meat
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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