Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
