i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
