So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
