I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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