Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
