What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I am spending my child support on dildos
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
