just tell him i said nine months
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
