Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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