that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my sisters under your porch take her home
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
