he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
