one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
