Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
