I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
