i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
